Mother Superior Says...

I’ve been looking for a job. Clearly, the one that I have is not working out very well. To add insult to injury, not only am I not making any money, this job is actually costing me money.
Hmm.
Time for a brief self-analysis.

I started this job because a friend needed help, and, coincidentally, I needed a job.
It seemed like the perfect fit.
I would be able to continue to work with books and education. My schedule could be flexible, which would allow me to continue to volunteer. I would only work during the school year, meaning that I would have the same days off as my children.
PURR-FECT!
Unfortunately, it’s not working quite as perfectly as I had hoped. The major drawback is the lack of a steady paycheck. Actually, right now, it’s the lack of ANY paycheck.
In addition, I am finding that, when done right, sales can be a rather soul sucking enterprise. I want my customers to have the best product for their needs, not the best product that I have available. The best product, period.
And up selling…? Not so much. It just rubs me the wrong way. I can make as convincing an argument as the next guy as to why you should buy the book and the video and the CD, but what I’m having a problem with is why I should make that argument.

And then last night I was watching The Sound of Music with my two youngest children. We watched while multi-tasking. We sang along, drank vanilla-banana milkshakes, played a rousing game of Cranium and channel surfed during the commercials. Still, we were able to track with the movie. We’d all seen it so many times that it was like visiting with an old friend. We all know every single word of every single song. We know how the Reverend Mother will “solve a problem like Maria”. We know that Maria will use the material from the draperies in her bedroom to make play clothes for the children because they cannot play “in straight jackets”. We know the “notes to sing” and we completely buy into the idea that we “can sing most anything!”.
And yet, last night, my old friend surprised me. It happened when Maria and the Captain have just declared their love for each other and are dancing around the gazebo. Maria presses her cheek up against the Captain’s chest and mummers demurely, “Mother Superior says, you have to go looking for the life you want.”

Tonight, this stupid little milk toast line, jumped out and thumped me right in between the eyeballs. Hard.
Damn!
I hate it when the obvious is so…obvious.

There are many things in my life that make my life the life that I want, AND, there are some things that could stand changing.
Thing #1 is my job.
I know exactly what kind of a job I want.
I volunteer at exactly the kind of a job that I want.
I have applied for exactly the kind of job that I want.

It’s been two weeks, and I have heard nothing.

So today, I fired off an email to the person who is in charge of hiring for exactly the kind of job that I want and I told her…”THIS is exactly the kind of a job that I want!” As a matter of fact, I sent it twice! Once on purpose, once as a result of a double clinking faux pas.
Twice was probably overkill, but I’m hoping that the fact of sending it at all has not crossed the line of proper job seeking etiquette.
And the thing is, if it did, I’m okay with that.
I’m okay with it because I stepped up.
I stopped waiting for my life to happen to me.
I made a decision that will allow me to happen to my life. That makes me a winner either way.