My car is currently in sickbay, and I am driving my son’s car. It has a stereo system that is more complicated than this one button women can handle, so instead of listening to the radio or a favorite cd, I loose myself in the hum of the motor. The buzz starts in my feet and winds through my body, swallowing every nerve and filling my body with white noise.Friday morning, that white noise gave birth to Forgiveness.
I have met Forgiveness before.
We argue frequently.
I often refuse to listen to Forgiveness.
It’s too hard.
Forgiveness asks me to pardon anyone who has wronged me.
Forgiveness asks me to do this even when the other person has neither asked for nor earned even an atom of absolution.
Forgiveness asks me to do this even when the other person is a burr in my craw.
Forgiveness asks me to do this especially when the other person is a burr in my craw.
Forgiveness is a tenacious debater.
On Friday, Forgiveness used Perry Mason logic and skill, to lay out an argument that was irrefutable.
“Your anger holds a person in the past and as long as you are holding a person in the past, you are stuck in the past with him. By refusing to let go, you are not allowing him to move forward, and that, of course means, that you cannot move forward either.”
Damn!
Time to shake off of the seductive embrace of anger and resentment that wraps me in the comforting arms of moral indignation and outrage.
It will take time.
I commit to doing the work.
I am ready to move forward.
3 comments:
I really needed to hear this today, thank you. It's long past time to forgive, and God, how I pray for forgetfulness, too!
You are amazing. Beautiful piece. The past can be a painful jail cell. I am ready for the sentence to be commuted.
It's been a while since I read your writing but I really enjoy it. I use to read your other blog a long time ago. What happened? I hope you are well.
Post a Comment